Moving back home has made me realize how much time I spent alone when I lived in DC. I spent a lot of time with my own thoughts and found ample time to write, listen to podcasts, listen to music, workout, and just be. Sure I went to work everyday, but I could zone out there and then once I left, my only nearby family to go home to was Will. And he likes his alone time far more than I do.
This is one of the reasons I didn’t like being in DC. Not enough people distracting me from my brain. I grew up surrounded by family and people always- I hardly ever had a second to myself unless I really made a point to carve out time in the day for me and shut out everyone else. But even then I felt bad removing myself like that. This is what happens when you have a ginormous family that you’re super close to- you want to spend lots of time with them and even when you don’t, you do anyway because you’re family. Why be alone when you can be with someone you love?
I took the ultimate form of seclusion by moving so far away. And I loved it at times- I very much did- but I also got lonely very easily. I love the stimulation of other people.
Now that I’m back, I find that I hardly ever spend time alone. I’m trying to catch up with family and friends- my job is very much centered on talking and building relationships with the people I work with- and I’m also trying to keep up with my friends who I no longer live in the same city with. I’m on and full of energy for most of my days now.
SO when I am alone, my brain sort of crashes. The constant over stimulation catches up to me and the tiredness hits me. I also think the mental stress of moving/starting a new job/ being away from Will is finally catching up with me.
Music has been a necessary source of comfort.
I’ve needed playlists featuring familiar voices and tunes blended with calming new voices to me that make me feel relaxed combined with songs that add a little pep in my step and give me a boost of enthusiasm for when I’m feeling tired. And that’s where this playlist was born from.
It’s what I’ve been listening to on my commute when I’m not having a conversation with someone either in person or on my phone. It’s what I’ve been listening to as I’m crashing and it feels like a hug.
Sidenote: every time I start to listen to James Taylor (which is very frequently because I love him), I think of Two James Taylors on a See Saw.