The day after I published my last post I realized, dang- that post about resolutions was sort of a cop out. I was soooo vague about what I’m working on in 2016. I hinted at what I’m working toward- stability, better sense of self, being the best version of myself blah blah blah- but what does that actually amount to in day to day terms? It looks nice on paper but what actions does it translate into?
Without even realizing it, in my head I’ve been categorizing habits of mine that I already have that I want to keep, habits that are in their beginning stages, and habits I want to cultivate in the days to come. As I’ve drifted off in thought in the many day dreaming sessions I have on a regular basis, I’ve sorted all these habits and wannabe habits into a few categories: security/stability, health/wellness (arguably the biggest and most important category), creativity, professional, and my relationships (family, friends, acquaintances, peers, anyone I interact with).
The type-aer buried inside me wouldn’t let me off the hook with broad goals and resolutions I guess. So here’s a more specific list of what I’m working on in order to be a better human:
- This will be a year of saving money! I am saving a certain percentage of every paycheck in 2015. I used to just deposit money from my checking account to my savings whenever I think of it… aka hardly ever. I have a goal amount to save by the beginning of 2016. It’s not a ton of money or anything, but its enough to make me feel more secure.
- Not giving up: continuing to figure out what’s going on with my body (God only knows) and working with the right people to feel better. I’m determined as ever to get my life/body/period back.
- Better sleep: sleep in the past few years has only gotten better and better for me. I do a good job at minimizing stress before trying to go to bed and have created a good environment at home that is condusive to sleep. And now I have these blue light blocking glasses to wear at night at home to prevent melatonin production from being stunted. I look like a straight up GOON. But I’m okay with it. It’s a little thing I can do easily.
- Movement everyday: whether its an hour plus walk in the morning before my day, a half hour walk on my break at work, a yoga video at home, stretching before bed, some strength training, a short circuit workout at the gym, swimming as some easy cardio, pushups off my kitchen counter while I’m cooking, or riding my bike to and from work- I need to give myself the gift of movement every single day. I may not be able to hardcore workout like I used to- but I can still be an active person.
- Letting myself relax: taking a soothing bath a couple times a week or letting myself be lazy and just lay down and watch tv- those are the biggest things that come to mind that I love doing that I like making time for.
- Fermented Cod Liver Oil: last year I started taking a magnesium supplement and it has worked wonders in my body. This year I’m finally taking the plunge and consuming fermented cod liver oil. I know its amazing for you, but for some reason I was nervous about it (partly the taste, partly the unknown factor of it). But I own it now- I’ve been taking it every day- it says that it takes at least a week for you to notice the positive side effects from it. I’m starting with the capsules (less fishy) and will eventually move up to the liquid.
- Clean kitchen: I went on a cleaning rampage in my kitchen at the beginning of this week in order to get rid of everything that doesn’t serve me or my health. The holidays sort of let a bunch of stuff creep around that I normally wouldn’t have at home anddddd now its gone. Gone gone gone. I’m hoping to keep my kitchen as “clean” as possible moving forward and only let it contain foods that will help heal my body and make me feel good.
- The Healing Kitchen cookbook: I bought this book for myself with some Christmas money I had and it was money well spent. I genuinely want to make all the recipes. And they’re all AIP friendly! No nuts, no eggs, no seeds, no gluten, no grains, no dairy- but every recipe looks AHmazing. I’ve already made a handful of the breakfast recipes and I loved them. I think I’m going to cook my way through this book…
- Bone broth: I’ve always been a believer in bone broth… but I usually let someone else make it for me and I buy it from them. It’s one thing I don’t really like making. This year, I’m going to make more of my own bone broth. The WFM that I work at sells pasture raised whole chickens and I’ve been saving all the bones in order to make my own bone broth. So not only do I get delicious chicken- but I get the bones for some killer soups.
- Coloring! I got some coloring books for Christmas and some new colored pencils! I think that taking some coloring breaks will help me chill out and stop thinking about some of the nonsense that clutters my brain.
- Journaling! I already told you about this in my last post, but I’m loving getting back to journaling. Having old prompts from Life Captured Inc. is a God sent, too. It’s reminding me how much I love writing. I started writing a book last year and its making me want to get back to that. I’ve been wondering if I should continue with what I have on paper now or start something new- maybe as I journal more, that answer will become clear.
- I’m three months into my newest job with Whole Foods Market. I want to learn it inside and out and be great at it. I want to prove to everyone else that I can do it- and to myself that I can do it. I want it to eventually feel comfortable and like second hand nature.
- This familiarity with what I’m doing every day I’m hoping will allow me to open my eyes a little wider and see what the next step for me professionally should be. Right now I feel like I can’t even begin to think about it- but I think with some calmness will come the ability to see into the future a little bit and determine what direction to head in next.
- Keeping up with connections: I love meeting people and keeping solid relationships alive. I want to continue to do this- meet as many people as possible- and kinder the relationships that I think are special.
- The relationships in my life are the most important things to me. Without question. I want to show that better to people- give more compliments, be less self centered, and try to be more understanding/compassionate.
- Being more conscious: in the past, whenever I would do something or say something that wasn’t a reflection of my best self (was short with someone, made a selfish decision, was gossipy, wasn’t very nice, got whiny, etc.) I would eventually feel guilty and bad about it, sometimes apologize but usually not, and I’d internalize and feel like a “bad person.” I’ve started to do this thing now where every time I do something like that, I immediately think in my head, oooh that wasn’t the best way to handle THAT. And then later on, I briefly write down the situation, how I responded, why that wasn’t the best choice, how I could have acted differently, and how that outcome would have effected the situation. It sounds cheesy and dumb- but it has already really helped. I’ve already encountered a similar interaction with a person that I had just had a few days prior and I was better able to handle it because of the thought that went into the mistakes I made the last time.
- Making people feel special: who doesn’t love being made to feel special? I know I do. I crave it. I think I was made to be a celebrity in a former life. I want my friends and family to feel the way we all want to feel. I want to do a better job at remembering birthdays and making a big deal about them, write a letter to someone once a month, and choosing seeing my family and friends over everything else.
2015 was a year of letting go of a lot of the unhealthy mindsets I had about who I was supposed to be and how I supposed to live my life. I let go of the conception that being an active person meant working out five times a week on top of being on my feet all day at work and feeling uncomfortable whenever I relaxed. I let go of the idea that I needed to “workout” on a regular basis in order to deserve a piece of chocolate at the end of the night. I let go of the thought that if I couldn’t eat “like everybody else” then I wouldn’t be able to have a social life or friends. I let go of thinking I have to apologize for making the choices I do every day for my health and happiness- even if they make other people feel uncomfortable because of their own insecurities.
There were nights were those things tore me apart. Days where I was working toward letting those things go- but hadn’t quite yet- and felt shitty about myself. It took SO much energy to get to the place I’m at today. To not be stressed about not living the exact way I used to when I was more athletic and fit.
There’s no question in my mind that I’ve walked in 2016 with a better sense of self than I’ve ever had. I make no apologies for how I live and what I do. I trust my body and mind- I know I’m constantly making the best decisions possible for me. I know me so well. I don’t doubt that.
2016 is about watering this version of me that I’ve become. Giving me more of what I need, less of what I don’t, and being the best version of myself not just for me- but for the people around me.
Alright alright I’ll stop talking now. Promise.
I lied. I have to point out… this post was just under 2,000 words. Twitter is contemplating expanding their character count to TEN THOUSAND WORDS. Like, in your feed you’d still see 140 characters, but if you click to expand the tweet, you can read up to 10,000 characters written by someone. How is that even a THING? Don’t do it, Twitter!!!
Random, but I heard that news and was baffled.